QUIET Time

What is that? It's time that you are allowed to think without interruption, a moment or several moments of time where there is no nagging noise, no whining, no crying or even the joyous sound of laughter.. it's QUIET! AND I NEED MY QUIET TIME!!!

Over this weekend I began to realize that I have lost my identity. I guess you could say that since I became "mother" I was no longer "me" ie, Elaine. Who was that person? Who is she now? I know I've changed and most for the better.. but when the children are gone and they have moved on with their lives (which I guess will happen some day, right??!!) what then? Who will I be then? What will I do with myself? What are the thoughts that will crowd my mind then? Right now I barely have time to complete a thought much less anything else. Where is this all coming from? It's coming from need to feel like I can still be loved for more than just what I can do for someone. I guess I could even back this up to "what will I do with myself while on vacation", "what will the kids do?", yeah I know to some it sounds really pathetic, but HELLO! I am a STAY AT HOME MOM!! 99% of my time is spent caring for my children, not anything else! I don't have outside hobby's, yes even my sewing is AT HOME! So.. the wheels are turning, I think there is going to be "me" time while on vacation.. maybe I will learn something new about myself.. maybe I will like it?!

I guess I got so caught up in the day to day grind, and yes every moment is precious, but ahh.. so much more so when I've had time to just be ME. I need this time even as short as it is most days because it's the only time of the day that gives me a break from being on autopilot. It's a chance that I can rest my eyes, or listen to MY music, or write, or sew.. or whatever I want for just 1 hour. I need this time, because there isn't any other time I get. What about you? Do you ever feel like you are on autopilot? Do you ever feel like a robot? You forgot what it feels like to get hot, to tingle, to want to jump up and down to your favorite song? Why not take that time during quiet time? Don't let your day go by without feeling alive, thanking God for your nerve endings and senses, do something for yourself, don't forget who you are, and don't forget who God created you to be. I'm going to jam to some music now and play with some material.. :)